August 9, 2008

YAY! I finally look my age!

I'm 25 and still consistently carded for rated-R movies. Everytime I show my I.D at a gas station, bar or theater -- people feel compelled to tell me:
  1. I could pass for 17; 19 at the most
  2. That I will appreciate this when I'm older
This is usually when I buy cigarettes, and I usually reply with "I know, that's why I'm buying these, I'm hoping they'll throw a few years on my face."

There are downsides to looking younger than your age (people aren't as respectful, 17-year old grocery store baggers hit on you) but I won't complain; I know someday I'll be a raisiny old cougar with crow's feet wishing I had this problem.
And if I wasn't such a feminist I'd use this to my advantage in the porn industry.

BUT.... now I have finally discovered the secret to looking old, and here it is:

  • Wake up at 4am to do the FM morning show
  • Work 10 hours a day
  • Do this on 4 hours of sleep and repeat daily for one week
Result? Angry, lifeless, crackhead zombie face. Makeup doesn't even work -- it crawls off my face, forms itself into giant middle-finger, and scatters like little ants.

For further proof, here's a picture of me taken just yesterday:

1 comment:

Marian Petruța said...

nice story!
what's up in the cheesy neighbour state of WI?! :)