Did I ever think I'd ever NEED food stamps? Nooooooo.... no no, (cocky laugh) god no.
But... curiosity led me to google "poverty line" and somehow I ended up in a cubicle yesterday where a social worker and I shared a giggle after we determined that I technically cannot afford to live. (For those who don't know, radio and art only pay if you're famous.)
She told me that I not only qualify for food stamps, but I qualify for the maximum monthly allowance in the state of Wisconsin.
Assuming this isn't too good to be true, I will soon get a little plastic card in the mail that will be re-filled with $200 each month and my dinner will finally consist of more than a banana!
And if you have preconceived notions about people who get food stamps, don't worry.... as soon as I post this, I'm putting on my stained sweatpants, getting pregnant, robbing some elderly people and drinking some liquor out of a brown paper bag on your street corner.
Stay tuned for updates on my food stamp adventure!