For the last two years, my landlord was lenient and let me pay when I could. I assume this is because
this apartment is very unrentable. But today, he told me to get out.
So.... I wanted to just say a few words about my $370/month apartment before we part ways:
- I will miss my plexiglas windows that didn't fit in the window frames and gave me fresh air year-round.
- I will miss my fridge. You always looked like you were on the verge of tipping over but you never did.
- I will miss the shared bathroom; getting up to pee in the middle of the night has never been so exciting/creepy.
- I will miss the shared shower that I NEVER USED ONCE in 2 years for fear of hidden cameras and spiders.
- I will miss keeping socks and undies in my purse at all times for showers at my mom's house.
- I will miss my trusty kitchen sink; such fun we had with emergency baths. Thanks for fitting me even though I'm not 8-months old.
- Sally's Beauty Supply sink spray hose, what can I say? I couldn't have survived without you.
- I will miss George from across the hall, a Vietnam vet who always knocks on my door with random questions. He once told me he dated Martha Stewart and fathered JFK Jr.
Most of all I will miss the piercing sewage smell that filled the hallway each week when my other Vietnam vet neighbor emptied his poop bucket. "Poop bucket?" you ask-- yes, he poops and pees in a bucket and empties it once a week (apparently he doesn't dig the whole shared bathroom thing either.) Most people thought I was exaggerating about this until they came over on the right day. Hot summer days were especially fragrant.