February 2, 2012

R.I.P Apartment

Being a freelance artist means paying work is very unpredictable. To supplement my illustration jobs, I regularly work as an art tutor, banquet server and house cleaner. I made and sold ugly sweaters on eBay around Christmas time; Valentine's week I worked at a flower shop...etc.

For the last two years, my landlord was lenient and let me pay when I could. I assume this is because
this apartment is very unrentable. But today, he told me to get out.

So.... I wanted to just say a few words about my $370/month apartment before we part ways:

  • I will miss my plexiglas windows that didn't fit in the window frames and gave me fresh air year-round.
  • I will miss my fridge. You always looked like you were on the verge of tipping over but you never did.
  • I will miss the shared bathroom; getting up to pee in the middle of the night has never been so exciting/creepy.
  • I will miss the shared shower that I NEVER USED ONCE in 2 years for fear of hidden cameras and spiders.
  • I will miss keeping socks and undies in my purse at all times for showers at my mom's house.
  • I will miss my trusty kitchen sink; such fun we had with emergency baths. Thanks for fitting me even though I'm not 8-months old.
  • Sally's Beauty Supply sink spray hose, what can I say? I couldn't have survived without you.
  • I will miss George from across the hall, a Vietnam vet who always knocks on my door with random questions. He once told me he dated Martha Stewart and fathered JFK Jr.

    Most of all I will miss the piercing sewage smell that filled the hallway each week when my other Vietnam vet neighbor emptied his poop bucket. "Poop bucket?" you ask-- yes, he poops and pees in a bucket and empties it once a week (apparently he doesn't dig the whole shared bathroom thing either.) Most people thought I was exaggerating about this until they came over on the right day. Hot summer days were especially fragrant.
I'm off to the greener pastures now... hopefully I'll sell some paintings and never have to live in squalor again.